Pensieri Di Voi
by ravenromance27
Summary: Introspective stories involving the many lives in the KHR universe. Flip-Side to "Trials and Trib..."
1. Expectations

**Authors Disclaimer:** As much as I would wish for fate to change and this brilliant work to be mine, the Gods did not see it fit to bless/burden me with such expectations. Therefore I am a mere happy leech that uses the genius of Amano Akira and KHR as my inspiration.

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_"When someone sees the same people every day, as had happened with him at the seminary, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."_

**― Paulo Coelho, _The Alchemist_**

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**EXPECTATIONS**

There was no denying the fact that when the young _Vongola Decimo_ first set foot in the hallowed halls of the Vongola Headquarters Mansion for his coronation, every Vongola mafioso-young and old—every Allied _Famiglia_ representative, contact, servant, support staff and underling from all walks of the Mafia world came in to see what all the fuss is about and what they could expect in the coming years. They all came hoping to pass judgment on the next head of one of the oldest, wealthiest and powerful _Famiglia_ in their world. They wanted to see for themselves just what kind of individual has come to lead them all.

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There was no denying that many felt that the Ninth had settled for a less than ideal candidate after the loss of his legitimate heirs-a half-blooded descendant no less and an untested child at that. A child, rumors speculated, that refused to take a life or act in violence until thoroughly provoked. A child that is both frail in looks and in disposition as he had the unfortunate nature of forgiving trespasses and slights to his position and his name going so far as to offer alliances to people that came to kill him after hearing their reasons. He was so lenient that he even allowed the treachery of the Varia's attempt to unseat him with complacent ease and with nary a sign of extracting even the modicum of vengeance or reprimand. As if those strikes were not enough, each and every one of his chosen guardians bore some objectionable flaw or two.

There was no denying that his guardians would have been deemed unsuitable by even the most unprepossessing of _Famiglias_. All of them were barely old enough to even apply for a driver's license let alone hold such prestigious posts. They were barely older than their supposed Boss, two of them even younger than he himself. Of his six guardians, 2 came from small-time Mafia _famiglia_ that proposes no benefit nor offer any advantage for the powerful family they were joining; 3 came from totally urbane and non-mafia lineage not to mention their foreign bloodline and complete lack of any knowledge of the world they're entering and one came from a _famiglia _so notorious they were wiped out by their own people due to their nefarious actuation. Add to the fact that technically speaking the Vongola Decimo had seven guardians in total-two acting for the Mist element of his entourage-the other being a silent young woman of indeterminate race or age or even affiliation.

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There was no denying that the Tenth's immediate inner circle was littered with the kind of people most _famiglias_ would turn away without a second thought and without any regret. His chosen right-hand man and Storm Guardian was a bastard born out of his Boss-father's more respectable marriage who spent most of his younger years act earning a living as an independent contractor, shifting allegiance from one convenient _famiglia_ to the next. His dedication and loyalty to the would-be Vongola Tenth Head that should've been his one saving grace is more a disadvantage than anything else due to his irate and temperamental nature.

His Rain guardian thought the entire idea of the Mafia was a game and wasn't shy or hesitant enough to express such an idea. He refuses to take anything seriously and flashes his smile with indiscriminate ease.

His Sun guardian had no sense of subtlely or even modicum of control over himself or his voice. He constant tries to invite everyone and anyone around him to join him in his quest to form a boxing club.

His Cloud Guardian barely paid any heed to anyone let alone his would-be-Boss. He threatens to bite to death anyone foolish or stupid enough to come close. He also has an arrogant penchant of declaiming people to be useless herbivores.

His Thunder Guardian was a child that spent more time crying and wailing than actually being anything useful. He also holds the distinction for being the highest ranked Mafioso in terms of being the most annoying and aggravating.

His Mist guardian was an ex-escapee from Vendicare Prison itself besides being the sole survivor of a _famiglia_ that even the Mafia didn't want to claim as their own. He also possesses a gift that makes even the most level-headed Mafioso wary. His malicious and cunning nature coupled with his habit of possessing people makes anyone and everyone question what the would-be Decimo was thinking when he recruited someone as seriously deranged as his Mist. His other mist guardian fails comprehension as well since she technically holds the dubious job of hosting the volatile spirit of the Vendicare ex-con when he can't be bothered to appear in person.

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There was no denying that the most coveted seat in their world is being offered on a silver platter to the most unprepossessing individual to ever walk the dark, blood-soaked path of the shadow world. One that, for the longest time denied ever wanting to even hold the post people in their world, would lie, cheat, bribe, betray and kill for.

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And when Sawada Tsunayoshi and his guardians were ushered into the room it was as if the entire underworld took a collective deep breath and never had a chance to release it. Because while there was no denying that they were hardly what anyone expected, they were there to stay and they brought with them an air of inevitability and undeniable winds of change.

Because there was no denying that the loyalty and dedication the burned in the eyes of the Decimo's Storm Guardian and right hand-man—a fierce, all-consuming, unrelenting fire that would see his chosen leader's plan clear through, allowing no one and nothing to stand in his Boss' way. He will stand sentinel over his master's life and protect him and the Famiglia from all that wishes them ill-will.

Because there was no denying that behind the benevolent smiles and carefree laughter of the Rain Guardian that soothes the Decimo and his family lies a core of forged steel—sharp and ever-vigilant—ready and willing at a moment's notice to slice and slash its way towards preserving the fragile safety and peace of its chosen lord's world. He will continue to shield their Boss from the pain and reality of their new world even if it means he will have to bathe in blood to do it.

Because there was no denying that the Sun Guardian aims to take on the world and prove to it that their sky is worth everything to them and that he would overcome any obstacle, smashing everything in their path to see his Boss' dream come true. He would stand by his Boss and_ the Famiglia'_s side and offer him a helping hand, opening his heart to all that the Boss would deem worthy and keep all of his fellow Guardians heart free of doubt and full of hope.

Because there was no denying that while the Cloud Guardian is not someone who would ever allow himself to submit to anyone's control, he stays close enough to watch over the man that understand his needs and refuses to be bind him to their rules and their world. He stays and watches and waits for the time to act—the time when his sky would call upon him and ask of him. Until then he would fly as free as he wish because he knows full well it is the sky that lets him.

Because there was no denying that the Mist Guardians are there to do more than bemuse and create a place to hide their sky and confuse their enemies. They stay close to their sky, knowing all the while that he will never try and cage them, allowing them the freedom to hide in plain sight and knowing in turn that they will continue to weave their careful web of concealment and illusions so that they could keep him pure and unsullied, to keep prying malicious eyes from basking in his pain and to keep away those that seek out to stain their sky with their greed knowing that it is only with him that they are ever truly just themselves.

Because there is no denying that that while he was weak and frail and always afraid, the Lightning Guardian will be denied nothing by his sky. He will continue to care and nurture his lightning's weakness until such a time when the Lightning would stand on his own and defend the sky and all under those under him with a fierceness that would forgive no trespass and will not yield until all that threatens him is burned away. He fights willingly and with joyous abandon knowing that after the fie-storm abates he can always come back to the welcoming arms of his forgiving sky.

Because there is no denying that the moment they felt the weight of Vongola Decimo's eyes upon theirs all their fears and hesitation was curiously put to rest. The clarity and agelessness in the Decimo's eyes spoke of a timeless wisdom that pierced even the most cynical of hearts, shaming their malevolence into silence, awakening their hearts to the unfamiliar unfettering of hope.

There was no denying that Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo and his Guardians were far from suitable. They were, however, exactly what they have been searching and yearning for.


	2. Of Things Never Asked

**Authors** **Note**: If disclaimers were wishes, many a fanfic would still be written. LOL. I pay homage to the master who made KHR and I dedicate this work to those unknown benefactors of mine-my reviewers. You have given me a gift that could not be purchased at any price-the gift of faith. I never really thought I could ever find enough words to string together another story. You have allowed me to continue my dream. My deepest, most sincerest thanks.

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**Of things Never Asked...**

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"_**Dogmatism and skepticism are both, in a sense, absolute philosophies; **_

_**One is certain of knowing, the other of not knowing. **_

_**What philosophy should dissipate is certainty, whether of knowledge or ignorance." **_

_**- **Bertrand Russell_

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When people ask why someone with the skills and a reputation like his stay and serve under the rule of a teenager barely out of puberty, his answer would depend on the interviewers gender, of course. Should a man ask and he being in a good mood, he would give his usual glib response that he feels a sense of obligation to the Vongola and that a man of his caliber only serves the best _Famiglia_ out there. He would then regale the unfortunate slob of some of his more vicious assignments, of the deaths that he has formulated and the most horrifying, face-melting tales that would scare a horror-writer straight into bedlam.

Should a woman ask, (_and let's be honest here, that means an __attractive__ woman and not just a biological female because unlike what __**some**__ people may think, he __**does**__ have certain standards_) he would probably give his standard spiel, parroted so often he could say it forwards, backwards and in a rhyming limerick complete with a witty couplet at the end. He would spin the tale of woe and redemption and seduction and enslavement guaranteed to win him the heart of a few fair maidens (_or in a more believable scenario, a single date that will never be repeated_).

What no one ever asks is why someone as pure and good-hearted as the Tenth, Head of an imminent, influential and wealthy Mafia _Famiglia_ with the history and prestige as that possessed of the Vongola, settled for some disease-ridden quack like him. Granted, very few (and I do mean less than the fingers of one hand, minus the thumb, of course) people possesses the skills he has but it doesn't mean he's utterly indispensible. Should they really wish it, Trident Shamal could be wiped clean off the planet and less than a handful of people would miss him or mourn his passing.

What they always ask is why he stays and the funny thing was, if he would've given the real answer, no one would believe him. Everyone else would've given the same predictable reason—he owed the Vongola his loyalty. And the thing was they wouldn't have been completely wrong. Not right mind you, but not completely wrong either.

Yes, he feels some sense of obligation and gratitude for the Vongola name and its sheltering influence. He knows that partially the reason he has been so successful and so free was because of their power. But it wouldn't have made him stay. He would've lent his services, true, but for a hefty price. He would've given his skills, but he would never volunteer it.

Because in truth, the real reason he has stayed had nothing to do with anything remotely related to the Vongola except in its periphery. The truth—complete and unvarnished—is because he _wanted_ to.

_**Because for the first time someone bothered to ask him if he was where he wanted to be and he said yes.**_

_**Because the Decimo actually asked his options, his opinions and **__**and invited him to stay and he said yes.**_

_**Because the Decimo—offered him the post of Family Doctor-not assassin for hire, not killer on retainer-but someone who saves lives- and he said yes. **_

_**Because Sawada Tsunayoshi's words kept his one-time student from the destructive path of discarding his life like it was nothing and proposed that he stay close enough to see that his student follow it through and he said yes.**_

_**Because he told Decimo the truth, that he was not normal and never will be; that his hands are stained with too much blood and that he was slightly neurotic…that he was disease-laden and he liked it that way…and that he was definitely damaged and that there's no way to fix him…because he said all the unvarnished truth inside of him to just to make sure that the Decimo understood and Decimo simply smiled, nodded and said **yes**.**_


End file.
